SIGNED MANUSCRIPTS OF THE BOOK ARE AVAILABLE BY MAIL FOR A TOTAL OF $10.00 (THAT INCLUDES POSTAGE). E-MAIL ME IF YOU ARE INTERESTED. THE MANUSCRIPT WILL INCLUDE A FEW OF MY PERSONAL POEMS IâVE WRITTEN, MY CRAZY CAKE RECIPE AND A COUPLE LOST COLUMNS NEVER PUBLISHED. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU WITH ANY COMMENTS. THANKS DUTCH

CHAPTER 1

THE CORNER HOUSE

Mom hated men. It was no wonder that she broke down in tears the moment she gave birth to one of those dreadful boys. The odds were certainly against her - I had to arrive sometime after my one, two, three, four, five, six sisters. She cried for two days. It was May 1935. Mom was twenty-nine.

The third day my mom settled down. "Maybe - just maybe," she thought, "this boy would be an exception, a good boy, not like his father, not like my father." She began to love me like one of the girls. Lucky for me, she recognized the difference and never dressed me pretty or in hand-me-downs.

Mom never had a lot of good things to say about my dad other than the fact that he could sell snowballs to Eskimos. I did hear better things about my dad from my siblings when I grew up. Never the less, dad still sold mom on having just one more child after I was born. My little sister appeared eighteen months behind me. Then, unfortunately, dad died from a kidney ailment in 1938.

After moving from one household to another fourteen times during the marriage, the young widow gathered her eight eggs in a basket and promised us that the roof over our heads would be first priority, food and clothing to follow, and only an act of Congress could get us to move. Congress came into session two times in the next fifteen years.

Flour dust filled the kitchen air every weekend after dad passed away. Mom pushed, pounded and rolled bread dough on an old faded red and white-checkered tablecloth that draped over a long picnic breakfast table. No chairs were in sight; we could all sit comfortably on two long benches that ran the length of the table.

A cigar box with broken crayons, some scraps of paper, or maybe a coloring book we got from Sunday school with pictures of Jesus, a lamb, a parting sea or some other miracle that could be colored was enough to occupy my little sister and I in the kitchen on a cold wintry day. We could just sit forever at the end of the table and just bake like mamma’s bread, and maybe - just maybe - and with out even asking - we might get some hot chocolate when the milkman came.

Eventually we heard the clinking of glass milk bottles coming down the walkway along side of the house. Even though the milkman was wearing a heavy jacket when he came to the back door you could still see his starched white uniform as he waved a "Hello!" through the door window and exchanged the empty milk bottles. Mom brought the milk in immediately and shook one quart vigorously to mix the thick cream that covered the top two inches.

Two slices of warm bread covered with oleomargarine slid down the table towards us. A small yellow pot with chunks of enamel missing from thirty years of use and abuse sat on the stove warming our milk. The flame was always at a perfect low. Mom was always concerned about bringing the milk to a boil and developing that ghastly layer of skin along the top.

After mom punched two holes in a new can of Hershey syrup with a beer can opener, we soon had our hands cupped around our favorite Hoppalong Cassidy cup sniffing hot chocolate. At that point we could concentrate diligently on the large marshmallow bobbing up and down in the steaming cocoa. It was a challenge to catch the thick white blob of cream with our spoon at the exact moment it became the size of a pea. One moment longer the marshmallow would have disappeared completely and become a part of the drink itself. There was no doubt that we were engaged in a childÕs winter heaven.

CHAPTER 2

THE SHOOTER

Some of my older sisters - - - -

ACKOWLEDGEMENTS

This book was made possible by the support and encouragement of the following people:

My wife, Stacey, who supported my writings and found the patience and understanding during the times I climbed inside the computer, oblivious to the outside world.

To my sister, Sally, through her expertise, found herself buried for days compiling all the puzzle pieces I wrote, and without complaining, somehow formed a finished book.

To my friend, Jerri Kientzel, for deleting and changing all the spelling and grammar errors I made at two o’clock in the morning, keeping me from looking like a complete idiot.

FORWARD

Reflections can kill. The gentle and slow process of aging would be a lot easier if the world was void of mirrors - glass storefronts and highly polished automobiles. And I say "gentle and slow" with " tongue in cheek" because reality is the fact that it happens overnight.

One morning, like most men, I approached the bathroom mirror to shave like I have for the last fifty years and accidentally – focused. My knees buckled as I grabbed the edge of the sink to keep from falling. The sight of an old man reflecting my image was a bit more than I had bargained for. Trying to steady myself, I moved in a little closer to my reflection. "I would be a rich man today" I thought, " if I had a dime for every woman that told my mother when I was a child – what great eyelashes I had". And now - with my eyes wide open - I discovered for the first time that my eyelashes had no length at all and have disappeared completely beneath a small roll of fat dropping across the top of my eyelid - but wait - if I begin to close my eyes - well glory to be - I do have some small stubbles I can declare as eyelashes. And what is this? Skin tags are growing on my face - and for what reason other than ugly? And the one time assumption that I have freckles – are actually liver spots! And I’m reminded again - as I stare at myself - that the only two organs on the human body that continues to grow is the nose and the ears.

While still in shock I began to lift my right hand a few inches above my head. The static electricity from my palm immediately lifted the dry white fluff attached to the top of my skull - causing it to bounce around and dance. My hair stood up to reach and follow my hand - first to the right and then to the left and even in circles if I cared to - like an invisible force of magic. I played for a moment – then stood at attention. I checked my posture and sucked my gut in until I felt and looked a lot better – only to realize that I could not continue the day without breathing and reluctantly exhaled with an explosion and a " puff." My belt disappeared below my waistline like my eyelashes fell behind my fatty lid.

About this time I recall how foolish I am beginning to feel now as my eye vision along with my looks is slipping away also. Now I lift my foot high above cracks in the sidewalk because I think they are steps - and then I found myself rolling around on the carpet in the center of the Bank of America last week because I never saw the floor drop one step - or even the giant sign that warned me.

Now that this chapter in my life had opened its pages IÕm beginning to understand why 40 miles an hour on the freeway seems fast and the big white arrows in the parking lot at Sears are always pointing the wrong way - and the old men sipping coffee at McDonalds - trying to solve the world problems - are beginning to look a lot like me.

copyright© 2001 Dennis Packard